One

Oh my. I just saw the date of my last post- January 28th. I didn’t plan to stay away for so long. I’m a bit embarrassed- it just goes to show I’m just an amateur blogger with no discipline. But I also kinda feel like I turned my back on you. But believe it or not, I did think about you- everyday actually- really, I did- I just didn’t have time to write- life got in the way- for three months. I had other deadlines to meet and after prioritizing my time, well, this fell by the wayside. But I’m back… but more importantly, Arlo’s back.

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Pictured holding his current favorite toy- an old toothbrush

So maybe this should be a “Let’s catch up!” post- you know, let’s grab coffee and get back on the same page. I mean a lot has happened. It looks like the last post from January 28th was about snot bubbles and how I couldn’t manage to catch one on camera- what a rookie I was! I have so many photos of Arlo’s snot bubbles now it would make you sick-really, they would- they are really gross. The bubbles were so abundant that one got memorialized in a painting by Arlo’s uncle…

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What if anything of significance has happened? I feel like there were a few things… In February Arlo met a US Senator. (My apologies if this photo is redundant to those of you who follow me on the Instagrams). While I was treating Kylie to a birthday lunch at one of Missoula’s finest baby friendly restaurants in town I looked up and spotted Senator Jon Tester having a lunch meeting. I waited for him to get up and then I pounced on him with Arlo and asked if he could resist holding a baby with the same haircut as himself. He happily obliged and agreed that Arlo did indeed have a nice haircut.

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Another significant thing that happened in February was that Arlo began to crawl. Well, we use the term “crawl” pretty loosely in this house. Let me explain…  Imagine if you woke up on the floor as a sloth- and your legs didn’t work. They were just dead weights that you had to drag begrudgingly behind you- and while doing that you thought that the harder and louder you slapped the floor with one hand, the faster you would go. That’s how he began to crawl three months ago and he’s still at it- this video was taken yesterday- IMG_4731

Sometimes when he gets to crawling too much we just tuck him away.tucked away

 

What else… Oh! In March he went to Hawaii- which he loved!

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He spent time sitting on the beaches and in the middle of roads that have been cut off by lava.

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And when we came back, most of the snow in Missoula had melted away…

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… then the grass turned green…

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… and then… Arlo turned 1… That’s right! One Freakin’ Year Old! Happy Birthday ya little biscuit!

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I held Kylie back from renting a bouncy castle, a magician, and three clowns. She lost her deposits, but I mean, come on- that can wait until he turns two. Instead, this year we just had a small celebration with friends and family. He opened presents that were sent to him from California, Washington, Colorado, and North Carolina. Mama even let him eat cake.

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That was only a couple of weeks ago actually. And since then he has already accomplished a few more things- He attended his first art show opening last weekend.

(I know, I am using Arlo to plug my show- color me ashamed, varnished, and raw)

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Enough about me though. In some of the pictures it might look like Arlo is walking on his own now- he’s not- I picked and chose them for dramatic effect. (It worked, right?) He is walking pretty good if he is holding on to something like his red wagon walker or a table or couch- he’s cruising. He mostly likes to grab onto Kylie’s fingers or mine and take us for walks. That has been great for our backs considering we have to bend at a 90º angle and follow him around with our arms extended. The kid wants to walk real bad. But wouldn’t you if you looked like an injured three-toed sloth when you crawled around the floor?

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One thing he does finally have going for himself are some teeth- which is nice. Here, let him show you- he loves showing off his pearlies- he’s been working on them for a year…

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Don’t those just look painful, geez!

Anyway, so that’s where we are right now. My subsequent posts will be more specific- for now I just wanted to catch you up- and catch me up- I didn’t realize how much can happen in three months. Sometimes I forget to look at the bigger picture. It’s easy to get stuck on what happens in the day to day- which seems like not much. This parenting thing is a time warp- but that’s a whole other topic.

In closing, I realize that when I began Pa-In-Awe I said that I would not let this become a blog where I just posted cute pictures of my kid. This post seems to be the antithesis of that statement. So to even it out I will leave you with a not-so-cute photo of my kid…

arlo frog.jpgThis was taken last August when he apparently looked like a feisty old man who ordered avocado toast from a hipster for $6 and realized when he got his plate he had just paid $6 for a piece of toast with avocado on top.

 

Ugly

We have hit the third trimester mark. Now we are counting how many weeks we have left (13) rather than how many weeks we are into pregnancy. I say we- but Kylie is the beautiful one with a basketball jutting from her abdomen. Scout’s little jabs have turned into horse kicks and we know he’s going to have the same powerful soccer player thighs both Ky and I have.

It is getting to the point that I am starting to wonder what he is going to look like. Is he going to have the same potato shaped birthmark on his side that Kylie has? Will he get the small useless crooked pinkies that I got from my Nana? He’ll most likely have a small nose like both Kylie and I unless some random big nose gene intrudes from my family.

I have never been the type of person to fawn over how cute a baby is. Newborns are wrinkly and creepy and look like they have an undercover agenda. I’m told that I will think mine is beautiful no matter what. I’m leery of this and I kinda don’t want this switch to flip in me. I think I’d be okay with thinking it’s not the cutest baby in the world. In fact, is it okay to say that I would even be happy to have an ugly baby?

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! WHOA! Okay, I said that. Now let’s set things straight. First and foremost I want a healthy baby- that is the most important thing. When I say “ugly” I’m not hoping for an ugly baby. I don’t secretly want Kylie to give birth to Sloth from The Goonies.  (I can make that joke because Sloth is not real- no matter how much I thought he was when I was a kid).

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I guess what I’m saying is I’d be perfectly happy with an Ugly Duckling. Of course I wouldn’t want my kid to go through his whole life being a very unfortunate looking person with a small nose and thunder thighs. But as a baby, if he’s not the cutest thing, I would love to see adults meet him for the first time and watch them come up with a lying compliment. “Um, he’s cute….. Where’d you get that onesie?”

I imagine the tone to be similar to that of the person at the bar who asks me to make them something different- what do they say?

“Make me anything you want- something different- anything- I love everything- Make me something YOU would drink.” I then make them something that I like and would love to drink… “Wow… That’s in – ter – est – ing”. “Interesting” is drawn out across thirty seconds while they stare at it and avoid eye contact with me.

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I used to take this very personally. But after a couple years of bartending I now take great joy in this response because it is usually a person who is trying to flaunt their adventurousness to their friends. His/her drink will sit there getting warm while his/her friends finish their round. As I get everyone another drink the adventurous one will point to their lukewarm drink, “This is really good, but I think I’m just not in the mood for it- Can I get a vodka-soda?” 

Wow, that makes me look like a bad bartender but- OH MY! This is my baby blog- sorry- but that was really cathartic. So anyway- that tone- “Um, cute”. I love watching bad liars lie.

I do have some worries though. They usually surface when I look at the local mugshots. Our newspaper posts them online. Here are some of my favorites…

 

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All these guys were babies once. Somehow, some way, they grew up and lost their innocence. They have all done some fucked up shit. This is what scares me- and I don’t even know what about it scares me. I used to just look at these and think nothing of them- it would just remind me that there are some really fucked up people in Missoula County. But now, with a kid on the way, these faces affect me differently. They put me on edge. They make me want to protect Scout from all the other people like them. I want to keep whatever influenced them as far away as possible from my unborn child. I don’t even want him to see these people. This is a brand new feeling inside that I can only describe as some sort of carnal protectiveness. I didn’t even know it was inside me until I saw these mugshots today. It makes me want to hide every single person like this from Scout. It makes me want to protect him from the truth of what some people truly are… ugly.