I think we have a name picked out. But I’m not going to tell you. We’ve been floating it around to each other since sometime in January. Kylie says she remembers the exact moment we began talking about it. I don’t. I just remember we were hiking around. I will say it is not going to be Scout. Much to my chagrin, my evil ploy of that name catching on permanently did not work. Sorry Scout.
It’s been a few weeks, hasn’t it? Let me catch you up- don’t worry, there’s not much. We had a birthing class a couple Saturdays ago. I’d have to say it was quite useful and informative. I learned that once a woman goes into labor, it’s not like in the movies- she doesn’t just drive to the hospital, lie down on a bed, and push out a little squirt. It’s more complicated that that. In fact, the many many hours leading up to the pushing is filled with the woman trying to maintain comfort in awkward positions that I can only describe as being reminiscent of farm animal silhouettes.
I do realize that this is a terribly insensitive comparison. I will also accept your hateful glare next time we meet. But, as always (most of the time), there is a innocent explanation to counter this insensitivity. Let me set the scene: We were in our birthing class. We were all practicing our positions and breathing. The women were squatting or leaning on chairs or on all fours. The men were right next to them- most of them massaging or rubbing their backs (some were on their phone). There was one huge window behind all of them- meaning one light source- meaning they were all shadows to me. So my mind combined the silhouettes of people and chairs and chair legs and heavy breathing and I imagined I was looking at various farm animals. Whatever! At least I wasn’t on my phone!Kylie, just so you know, you did not look like a farm animal. And if you were going to look like a farm animal you would be the cutest little… yeah right! I’m not going to go there.
What else? Scout’s room is all set to go. The carpet has been professionally cleaned. We put together the crib and a changing table/dresser. There are tiny little hangers hanging in the closet. Who knew hangers could be so damn cute!
And now we wait. Two months left. Our April is already planned out, so it’s basically done. So, really, just one month left. Although the one actually carrying Scout would probably have something else to say about that logic.
Kylie has been wonderful throughout this. Her stomach has grown a little more, but hey, there’s an actual baby inside her now. I see him move around. I see him press out against her belly. Sometimes I press back. But then it freaks me out a little and I squirm and eek out an “Ewwww!” It’s kinda like that feeling when you stick your hand in some gum that some asshole stuck to the bottom of the chair you’re sitting on. You pull away real quick and squeal out an “Ewwww!” Well, I do at least. But I also see farm animal silhouettes sometimes.